Thursday, May 24, 2012

JESSICA SANCHEZ HEARTBREAK: 5 WAYS TO DEAL WITH YOUR GRIEF


Photographer to Phillip and Jessica:
That
s right, pretend not to hate each other!

If you are a Pinoy reading this, you are surely stricken with grief with the ‘luto’ results that made Phillip Phillips winner of American Idol 2012 rather than Jessica Sanchez. Outrageous, you must have been telling yourself since this morning (May 24, 2012 in Manila, May 23 night in US); there’s NO WAY Sanchez lost to that bluesy crooner no-talent. I mean come on diba, like if all Pinoys, estimated at 100 million, voted for Sanchez 800 times each, that means there should have been EIGHTY BILLION votes for Sanchez, but the official tally shows ONLY 132 million votes. Clearly something’s amiss.

But it’s over, as heartbreaking as it is. Here are some strategies for coping with your grief, specially assembled by top psychologists specializing in tribe-fixated syndrome (TFS):

1. Blame Sanchez’ Mexican side.

2. With Jessica Sanchez losing, you now have a chance to actually get on with your life! No parades to attend/watch, no Senate or House resolutions to waste taxpayers’ money, no endless replays of her videos, etc.

3. You can take comfort in the fact that Phillip Phillips has the same name as the Philippines, twice over! That makes him somewhat of a kababayan. Mabuhay ang Phinoy!

4. Honestly, would you have bought a CD of Jessica Sanchez? The American Idol prize is a recording contract, with a presumption that people would pay to listen to the winner. Sure you’re all gung-ho about posting Youtube videos, but do you see yourself ever being part of a PAYING fan base? Get real. And a flying vote doesn’t pay twice.

5. Use the following affirmation/mantra at least ten times an hour, until you’re cured: WHO CARES?!

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